Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize