Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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