Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
