i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
