There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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