maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
