It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
how drunk are you?
Several
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
