piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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