I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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