thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
