they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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