U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
