would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
