we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
