i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I died a long time ago.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
