Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
