uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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