I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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