i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
