i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
