Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize