you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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