I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
