i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
