I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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