So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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