Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
