You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize