And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
