Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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