On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
