In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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