You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
