never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
