Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
