Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This is the high leading the old right now
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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