Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Come share oat with me in your robe
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
