And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
