check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
