whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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