you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
