tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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