New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
