Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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