Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize