Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
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