so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
