hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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