OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I am midnight drunk by noon
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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