'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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