mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
