i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
