The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
