I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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