I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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