So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
