God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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