you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
